My Religious Beliefs with a Brief Mention of Pizza

Others have been posting there religious beliefs online, and as I was just appointed the official Second Cleric in Triskele, I feel it is perhaps time to share what I believe.

I was born and raised with absolutely no religion in my life. Religion was not so much ridiculed as it was ignored. The closest religious experiences I had while young were reading Genesis in hotel rooms when I was bored, and occasionally watching televangelists, at whom my father bestowed ridicule and my brother would giggle at insanely. When I once asked my mother what religion I was for the purpose of filling out a form, she said, “I don’t know, probably Lutheran. That’s what your father’s parents are.”

Having no religion made me an oddity among my peers, and from time to time they would talk about things utterly foreign to my little world. Eventually as I grew older and was able understand the concepts a little better, I became fascinated by the whole religious thing, and remain so to this day.

The term that would best describe me is Militant Spiritual Agnostic, and I am currently as close to being Christian as I am ever likely to be. My full beliefs could only be described in chapters rather than paragraphs, but I generally hold that if God exists, and if God created the universe, then, if God were fair, he would have written his commandments and wishes for us into the nature of the universe itself. The more we study and learn by the principles that the universe teaches us, the more we would follow God’s plan.

Of course, the main statement has 3 ifs and makes a rather large assumption the issue of fairness from a Godly perspective. My current “Christian” leanings are due to debatable biblical evidence that Yeshuwa’s life was prophesied from the Old Testament, a document that was finished being written at least 300 years before Christ’s birth.

I believe that fundamentally most religions are positive forces which are frequently very corrupted by bad people to excuse unspeakable things.

I do not, however, hold that all religions and beliefs are equally valid, as some are more clearly full of crap than others. I believe in crystals, as they are great in salt shakers. Astrology is likewise great for giggles in the morning paper. Psychics are sometimes people unusually tuned to making assessments of people at a glance and can be good at giving common sense advice. At other times they are great for helping relieve the problems of people who have too much money but don’t have the brains to keep it.

How Scientology even managed to get itself qualified as a religion is testament to L. Ron Hubbard’s creativity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is pasta it’s prime. I strongly object to any religion that advocates the wholesale extermination of those who don’t believe it as I would be one of those exterminated and I’m a nice guy. As for those religions who advocate exterminating themselves, well, Darwin works in mysterious ways.

The most compelling evidence for the existence of God is pizza. That such a perfect food could be created without divine intervention is beyond reason.

Safety and love to everyone. Hugs to those who want or need them.


6 thoughts on “My Religious Beliefs with a Brief Mention of Pizza

  1. “The most compelling evidence for the existence of God is pizza. That such a perfect food could be created without divine intervention is beyond reason.”Well, then, you have your answer. There is a God (based on your perfect pizza statement above.) Pizza is shaped in the perfect circle of the holy communion host. And pizza originated in Italy. So, not only is there a God, but given the fact that St. Peter established the Catholic holy see approximately 2000 years ago in Rome means that pizza is a holy Catholic host, eaten only by the faithful.Do you think Pizza Hut delivers to the Vatican?

  2. I hope you’ll never come to Italy and taste “real” pizza … (Pizza Hut ?!!! com’on Princess !!! in the Vatican they have their own home made Pizzas 🙂 )After such an experience you’ll probably take vows in a monastic order for a life of prayer and contemplation, and that would not be fair to such a sweet Lady as Princess 🙂

  3. Does that mean that by eating pizza I am automatically saved? That would be a big relief off my mind. Eternal fire and torture have always been a bit worrisome to me, and I am damned sure there are no pizzas in Hell.Are square pizzas the work of Satan? Do the toppings matter, or does God allow free choice in this regard? The Vatican should be providing advice on this one.I don’t mind the idea of a monastic order and a life of prayer and contemplation if excellent pizza is a fringe benefit.

  4. Yes Alph – by eating Pizza you can “Grok” god… 🙂…and I’ll have you know that I am a member of the FSM church because it makes more sense to me than any other religion I have seen. How can anyone deny that the earth was created by a bowl of flying spaghetti? :))

  5. My objections to the FSM church are as follows.The Flying Spaghetti Monster was created in 2005 by Bobby Henderson as a parody and an illustration that the concept of “God” as the creator could just as easily be a giant bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. The illustration is one based on words alone: one person’s blind claim about something is just as valid as another person’s blind claim. In this, it is fine.The Bible, however, speaks of the fulfillment of prophecy and of miracles. True, the Pastafarians can and do make the same kind of claims, but the FSM was created in the modern era, where proof and validation of these claims are more possible. The Biblical claims were <>written<> thousands of years ago. Should the claims have been true, then these events would have provided compelling evidence that God existed. The means for verification of the miracles did not then exist, so they can not fairly be held to the same standards that the FSM has to live by.This does not mean that the Bible is true of course, but it does say that the standards by which we judge it must necessarily be more flexible.That said, I must admit that I really do enjoy a good meatball.

  6. I lean towards Buddhist but I like meat on pizza and most things but not too fond of chocolate covered mints and anchovies on pizza.I just saw a movie recently with the flying spaghetti in it it was hilarious.Only problems I have with religion is when people use it to hurt others or use their believes in way to make themselves better then others,etc.

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