First Life First

First life first.

It is an expression I’ve heard more than one person use of late, the idea being that whatever takes place in first life takes precedence over whatever may be happening in second life. Which means, of summary, that my animator’s life is more important than mine is.

It is a concept I have difficulty with. I have tried to live my animator’s life and found myself bogged down by tedium. Clothes to wash, beds to make, dishes to be cleaned, cat litter to be scooped, paperwork to be filled out. So on etc. ad-nausum.

For me, in general, even my work is play. I frankly don’t know how he puts up with it.

And yet, put up with he must. And so must, therefore, I. Despite the prim boxes and giant-penised noobie avatars, SL is much, much cleaner than RL, and much, much easier to keep that way.

And when my animator lives in a chaotic environment, his thoughts get muddy. And, such is our connection, when his thoughts get muddy, so do mine. I felt sharp for the renewal ceremony to my beautiful Princess because HE felt sharp for it. When he feels numb, so do I. Such is the cycle. And when he feels tired, it is, truly, my eyes that close. Our connection is that intimate.

So, somehow, it is my responsibility as a somewhat saner (?) version of himself to try to keep him on task, for my OWN good.

And I can help, although I admit I have something to learn about his world. WANTING to help is another matter. I find the business every bit as tedious as he does, if not more so. Let us be honest here. My life is much more glamorous than his.

So it is not just he that must find balance, it is that he should learn that tat balance lies in his own world, not so much in mind. I still serve a purpose…a training ground…whatever. But it is he that must find a way to cope in his own world without looking toward mine as a way of hiding. And I must encourage him to do this if I am to help him, even if in the process it diminishes my own existence.

And now the best thing I can encourage my animator to is to go to sleep.

Goodnight all.

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