The fog in my head has lightened somewhat since my last post, and so my thoughts seem clearer. This leads to hopefulness, and this leads to me making promises to myself and to others. Later, the fog will return, and those promises will be forgotten on left unmet. I say this not out of hopelessness, but out of pattern observation. This has been the rhythm of my life for some 30+ years, and it would unrealistic for me to expect it to change on this occasion.
The trick is to somehow break this pattern. I don’t expect to be floating in blissful joy throughout my life, but I would like this constant seesaw between hope and despair to stop bouncing so hard.
The things that work best for improving my mood are straightening my workspace, eating properly, and exercise. Straightening my workspace in this case means cleaning my house, which is starting to get a bit unmanageable. Eating properly means…well…not eating the way I’ve been eating. I know what the right foods are. That is part of the problem. For some reason, the more I know about good nutrition, the more my mind seems to seek out the bad stuff. I’ve pulled out the old weight watchers calculator again. I’ve got about 30 lbs to lose. Last time, I lost this much weight in about 4 or 5 months. It ainna gonna happen this time unless I throw in some exercise.
So, exercise. Yeah…
20 minutes of aerobic activity every other day will probably be enough to encourage weight loss. More would be better of course. Everyday would be better yet. The problem with every other day type programs is that the other day always seems to be another day away. Everyday would work better for that reason alone. I won’t DO it everyday, but so long as I feel I’m supposed to, well, that may get enough in.
I’ve been here before. I can’t count the number of times. What is becoming different is the frustration…the feeling of why bother, it won’t last.
And maybe it won’t last, but a little exercise…a little weight loss, a temporary mood gain, is all better than slothfulness, weight gain, and sinking into a depressive pit. One day at a time.
Oh well. I have a meeting to get too about a statue. Be well.